I finally dragged out my Apple Bluetooth Headset, the one my son got for me. It was a power-eater with the original iPhone and so I never used it much – about the time I needed to, it was out of juice. I thought maybe it would be different wi the new phone.
First, I couldn’t find the travel cable that charges the headset and the phone. I knew it wouldn’t work with the new phone anyway, but that’s how you are supposed to pair them – plug them both into the cable and the USB end into power, and they should automatically pair. Since that didn’t work I had to do some research.
Here’s the deal: Set the phone to bluetooth mode. (Settings> General> Bluetooth.) Then switch it to Airplane Mode, then back off of Airplane Mode. (I don’t know why.) Then hold the button on the headset down for 8 seconds, until you hear the “power-on” ascending notes and five quick beeps. That puts the headset into discoverable mode for five minutes. It should show up on the phone, and the green light should be blinking on the headset. After the phone finds it you’re good to go.
Why that is the procedure, I don’t know. I put this together from an Apple Tech Note and the Apple forum…two separate answers, taken together, worked.
Good luck out there!