Last candidate standing

November 29, 2011

By the time we get to the Republican Presidential primaries we’re going to be down to this guy. As far as we know, he has had no affairs, he doesn’t have any corruption issues from holding a previous office, and as far as I can tell, he never was particularly interested in socialized medicine.

That is, assuming Vader is a Republican.  If he is, I guess he’s a big-government conservative, right? I mean, he was working for the Empire, after all. He has that intolerance of failure that liberals like to accuse conservatives of. I don’t know where he stands on taxes and on the budget deficit. He certainly has some ideas on full employment – learn the Power of the Dark Side, submit to the Emperor, or die. That’s simple. Same policy for immigration, I think.

There was that one incident of nepotism, of course. It didn’t turn out so well. His son was kind of a whiner, anyway. That’s why you can’t hire relatives, I guess.

You know, now that I think of it, Vader might have leanings more toward the Democrat party. He seems comfortable with a large bureaucracy – but then again, he was known for removing executives for small infractions of policy. Or were they really military? In the Empire, it’s hard to tell.

I know this: no one would ever accuse Darth Vader of being libertarian.

I, for one, welcome our new overlords from the Empire.



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